“Hi Kris. I have an overall comment for you – a lot of your sentences were awkward and convoluted. Try to be as straightforward and concise as possible in all of your writing. You can view the tracked changes to see how sentences were revised to improve the flow. Let me know if you have any questions.”

Why thank you, kind editor. A reminder to not complete copywriting tasks three hours after midnight, drinking Red Bull with a thud in my chest. No such pressure balled into fists. Just a girl, her laptop, a notebook, and a can of the vilest sugar. It is my vice, quite honestly.

Technical and sales-oriented writing are new to me, bitter to the tongue but acquirable with time. Though tedious, it pays better than cashiering at the Italian restaurant across the street during a typical weekend. They have enough servers, and my experience hardly meets minimal expectations. I’ll stick with this course.

Web content, though speedily done once you’ve completed a good three or four tasks, makes me squirm. I like that I’m learning to write content in a space with little breathing room, but often, I’m desperately trying to touch the edge of that minimum. 250 words a section is hard. I’m not so attuned to the crisp and catchy. I tend to crowd…convolute. A bad habit? I wouldn’t call it that. More so, just a penguin out of place in Death Valley.

Aside from reading the extensive track changes that only remind me of the ways I drain just by speaking, I can say the following:

– I have learned that much of what we learn is absorbed through auditory pathways.
– Voiceover narratives may just decide whether your employees remember what blood borne pathogens are.
– Real estate lawyers can be guardian angels in the war against your Homeowner Association.
– A certain lawyer in America’s Southwest wants to take all cases to trial. Mediation’s criminal.
– Again, lawyers achieve utility, when family-owned ice cream shops endeavor to use real strawberries.

The organic anathema.

And copywriting is not organic. But I’m sure you could tell by the flavor on the label.